M'lady
by AWickedMemory
Summary: ShikaNeji Neji gets a cold. Neji HATES colds. And guess who gets to tend to his hurts? His patient lover, of course. GIFT FIC for WING IT. Get better soon! one-shot; complete


**Title:** M'lady  
**Author:** D.A. Maxwell  
**Fandom:** Naruto (KISHIMOTO Masashi)  
**Pairing:** ShikaNeji  
**A/N:** Dedicated to **WING IT** because she's sick, poor dear. :(

--

Neji never got colds. He made sure of it. He'd had a fever once, when he was in the ninja academy, and he'd been bedridden for three days.

Screw fighting Sound, screw getting the cursed seal, screw the agony of walking in one day on Lee and Tenten in a compromising position (she still insisted to this day that they'd only been sparring)-- those were the most miserable three days of his life.

And he made sure they were miserable for everybody around him as well.

He watched what he ate. He took vitamin and mineral supplements. He exercised daily (well, obviously-- he _was_ a ninja, after all). He dressed appropriately for the weather. He avoided junk food at all costs. He always got his flu shots. He'd do anything-- _anything_-- to keep from reliving those torturous three days of sniffling, sneezing, coughing, hot-and-cold delirium again. By the end of his cold, his throat had gotten insufferably sore not from the illness itself, but from his constant grumbling and cursing and snarling.

Except for his family, nobody _ever_ saw him sick. He was the epitome of perfect health.

Until now.

Shikamaru opened the door to their shared bedroom, swinging it closed hurriedly before opening it again. Setting down the tub of hot water he'd brought, he picked up the pillow that had been hurled his way and lightly tossed it back onto the bed.

Neji glared at him. "Ged. Oud."

"Yeah, right," Shikamaru sighed. "Neji, we went over this before. You need to calm down and rest, or you'll just be sick longer."

"I'b dot-- ah-- ah-- _CHOO!_-- sigk, dabbit! It's a bidor vysiolodigal zedbag, dat's all."

"Yes, a minor physiological setback of your _immune system_." Shikamaru brought the tub over and set it on the nightstand, shifting the blankets around his seething lover and gently pushing his shoulders back down to the bed. "Quit throwing such a tantrum over a cold."

Neji sprang back up instantly. "I gad dake gare of byzelf!"

"You can hardly walk without passing out, and your fever's been going up and down all day. You were hallucinating for hours, thinking I was one of the deer breaking into the apartment-- because of _course_ deer can climb stairs. You can't keep down any solid food, and you threw the last bowl of chicken noodle soup we had at the wall. No, actually, you _can't_ take care of yourself."

To his credit, Shikamaru maintained perfect composure as he spoke, words a matter-of-fact drawl as he pushed Neji down again and temporarily draped half on top of him.

Neji flailed his arms a bit, struggling to shove the younger-- and unfortunately, taller and heavier-- ninja off. As far as only physical form was concerned, Shikamaru was definitely the more muscularly built of the two and was easily stronger than him on a healthy day. Being sick, trying to overpower the man was a lost cause for the slimmer Hyuuga. Shikamaru remained right where he was until Neji's energy gave out and he abandoned fighting in favour of breathing.

Shikamaru smirked, pressing the back of his hand to Neji's forehead. "Well, that little fit there probably cost you a few more degrees, but shouldn't be too bad," he commented as he reached into the tub to wring out one of the small washcloths, fold it into thirds, and place it over Neji's forehead.

Grimacing at the heat, Neji turned his head to shake it off. Shikamaru gripped his jaw in one hand, resettling the towel with the other. "Stop that," he chided.

"Id feels udcobfordable," Neji complained.

"_Everything_ feels uncomfortable to you right now," Shikamaru reminded. Drawing back a bit, he began to unbutton Neji's shirt.

Neji grabbed for his hands, eyes widening as his already red face reddened a bit more. "Whad do you thig you're doig?!"

"Putting a towel over your chest. You're congested there, aren't you?" Shikamaru asked with a smirk, fully aware of how the action had been misinterpreted. "What, you didn't honestly think I was giong to ravish you while you're incapacitated, do you? What kind of guy do you think I am?"

"Ad obdoxious wod."

"I know, I'm awful, aren't I? Tending to your cold like this instead of letting you fume and freak out in the exact opposite of peace." Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he wrung out the larger towel from the tub, folded it, and placed it over Neji's chest. The patient flinched at the sharp temperature shock, shivering a bit.

"I'd radder be alode!"

"And I'd rather be here. Since I'm the only one of us healthy enough to put up a fight, I think I win."

"You'll ged by gold."

"Well, if I do, then you can return the favour," Shikamaru replied easily, brushing some of Neji's hair from his sweaty face.

"I do't dow how to tage gare of a zick bersod."

"Just do what I'm doing now."

"Beig a baid id de azz?"

"No, not that part."

It was Neji's turn to sigh as he stared up at the ever-calm and collected face. "Why are you so bayshed?"

"Assuming 'bayshed' means 'patient', I'm a Nara. Sitting around as time drags by is what we do best. Besides," Shikamaru added with a teasing smirk, "I get to spend the day off work tending to my flushed, half-naked boyfriend's body while you lie there helplessly. I could do without you being pissed at the world, and the occasional flying furniture, but all in all? Not a bad way to spend a Monday."

"For _you_." Embarrassed, and angry because of it, Neji pulled the blanket further up to better conceal said flushed, half-naked body. He shot Shikamaru an indignant glare.

"Now, what good will that do? It just gets the blanket damp," Shikamaru pointed out as he tugged the blanket back down to Neji's stomach before replacing the washcloth on his forehead with another..

"I ca't dell if I'b hot or gold."

"Doesn't matter. You still need to be kept warm."

"The blakgets are eduff!"

"Not when you keep kicking them off, they're not."

"You do't 'aff to sdig aroud 'ere. Go ead lu'ch or subthig."

"I'm fine."

There were a few seconds of silence before Shikamaru changed the chest towel. Neji squirmed uncomfortably. "I feel rez'less."

That one took a moment to decipher. "Restless? Well, there's not much that can be done while you're still sick, so hurry up and get better and you can work out to your heart's content."

"I'm bored _dow_."

"You're also sick, so you're not going anywhere. Nobody's coming here, you don't have the mental capacity to play a game right now, and sex is completely out of the question," Shikamaru listed pragmatically, smiling at Neji's scowl at the last. Even though they'd been together for almost a year now, the eighteen year old jounin was still adorably body-shy sometimes.

"I cad blay a gabe," Neji insisted.

"Not well. You'd probably topple over and knock the board down," Shikamaru drawled. "And as funny as that would be, I'd be the one picking up the pieces, so no." Sighing, he leaned over to lift the washcloth, drop a kiss on Neji's forehead, then put the washcloth back down. "I know it sucks being sick, okay? But there's nothing you can do about it except cooperate until you feel better."

Neji's lashes fluttered closed. Shikamaru generally never drew attention to the seal, and had never commented on it once. Still, from time to time, he'd kiss or stroke it, quiet and thoughtful, before the mood would pass. He still hadn't decided if those were good or bad things.

Eyes snapping open when he felt lips where they weren't before, Neji recoiled a bit on the bed. "What are you doig?!"

"You said you were bored, didn't you? I'm keeping you entertained," Shikamaru smirked, drawing Neji back to kiss down his neck.

"But I'b-- and you're-- and you zaid--"

"You're sick, I'm not, I said no sex?" Shikamaru clarified, lips brushing against the tongue-dampened skin at the base of his lover's neck. "I'm not doing anything naughty. What, I'm not allowed to kiss you?"

"That's a liddle bore thad gissig," Neji protested weakly even as he tilted his head away to give Shikamaru more room to play.

"Hmm... is that you telling me to stop?"

"Doe."

"Then shut up." Neji squawked irately, but when Shikamaru resumed his little kisses and licks, he kept his mouth shut. Feeling teeth nip and lightly tug at his earlobe, however, he let out a squeak as his mind went blank. "Shi--"

"Shhh," Shikamaru hushed. "Just lie back and enjoy."

"But--"

"No buts, Neji."

"But--"

"I'm not going to push you, okay? Nothing exhausting. You need your rest, so just relax."

He turned his attention back to delivering the little ministrations.

This went on for several minutes before Shikamaru sat back, satisfied with the marks now littering the Hyuuga's pale skin. Neji made a confused sound and followed as he pulled away, but he shook his head and began replacing Neji's towels. "You need rest, remember? So quit fighting me and just get better."

"Wait-- dat's it?"

"Mmhmm."

"I hade you."

"No, you don't."

"Zadist."

"Just trying to help."

"I'b goig to ged you bag."

"I'll look forward to it."

Shikamaru smiled as Neji gave an aggravated growl before lying back down resignedly.

--

Neji felt much better by the next day, and by the end of the week, he was back in top form.

The _next_ Monday, however...

--

"Is the water too hot?"

"Doe. It's fide."

"Do you need anything to drink?"

"Dope."

"When do I change towels?"

"Whedever thiz wud iz loog-warb."

"What if your 'lukewarm' is different from my 'lukewarm'?"

"Deji! It's fide!"

"Okay, okay. I warned you I've never done this before. Is there anything else you need?"

Shikamaru thought for a moment before gesturing for Neji to lean closer. When he did, Shikamaru whispered something into his ear, fully expecting to get smacked..

And get smacked he did. "Perverted idiot," Neji muttered as he stood. "That's it, you're on your own."

"So gruel."

"I'm _not_ going to dress up like a goddamn nurse!"

"Heheheh."

··· _fin_ ···

--

**A/N:**  
If you didn't get it, the title isn't anybody being called "My lady," it's just "malady". n.n I'm sure I could have worked in a "my lady" joke in there somewhere, but Neji would have _killed_ Shikamaru for it, so for the sake of not turning this into a deathfic, I let him be. :D


End file.
